I honestly don’t know how I got
from there to here. Ten years ago I was a college dropout. I don’t know if
dropout is the right word, I never really showed up in the first place.
I just
now (as in 30 seconds ago) finished part of my first experiment at Arizona
State University. I’m a PhD student. Me. The guy who didn't have a bed to sleep
on for a good chunk of his 20’s. It’s strange that no one here hasn't figured
it out yet. I've been waiting for my advisor, or teacher, or lab-mate to run in
and yell “Get out you charlatan.” “Phony.” “Impostor.” “Interloper.” Holden
Caulfield would tear me a new one. Yet here I sit, typing a confession to an
unknown reader.
My name
is George and I’m pretending to be a biologist.
I have a
wife. A 4-month old daughter. A boxer dog. A rebellious cat. And I’m in grad
school. Oh yeah, and I have no idea what I’m doing.
I've heard people (only in
writing, never once in person) admit to feeling like a fraud their first year
of grad school. What has two thumbs and agrees with that statement? Somewhere
along the line I convinced a whole lot of people that I could do this, that I
was ready to get training and become a scientist. It was weird to not have
anyone holding my hand today as I started, looking over my shoulder and
double-checking my work. I’ve heard that the journey of a thousand miles begins
with a single step…here goes nothing.
I truly have no idea how I got
from there to here.
